If you want to read a blog post that will tell you, Love Yourself! Be Kind! Be Happy! then stop reading now. If that is all you need then good for you! But if you are like me and you read those words and you just think ok, then keep reading.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Aside from being an absolute tune, that song has a really good message. But it is much easier to sing along that actually do what the song is about. Many a time I have been listening to that exact song whilst at the gym being annoyed at myself for not going to the gym more often or not working hard enough when I do. What is weird is that I would never think that about a friend. So I think it has to be said, Self Love is some hard stuff.
Being kind and loving yourself is super important, but it is super hard at the same time. If you for some reason are doubting the importance of it then let me convince you real quick with some facts.
- If you like yourself then you are likely to treat yourself a lot better.
- Treating yourself better means making better decisions, from what to eat to who to surround yourself with.
- Finally it is super cliche and I really don’t want to say it but it is sort of true. If you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you.
It Is Important but How Do I Do It?
Has anyone ever told you that you need to look after yourself?
Well Sandra……. those emails won’t get answered themselves. The essay fairy doesn’t come to me anymore. I only have 24 hours in a day and I have to sleep. And I don’t have children but I am sure that if I did then I would have about another 1000 things to do because it sure seems like raising another human being takes a lot of work. But I do have a dog and he needs a walk before I can get off to a spa in the Maldives.
I think what I am trying to say is that people mean well but everyone has stuff going on that they just can’t drop. Hence why I have three self care strategies that I want to recommend which don’t require tons of time or £££. They won’t work instantly but by doing a little bit of self care it can help you have a little bit more self love.
1. Write the Good Stuff Down
It is crazy to think there was a time when people had to write stuff down because there were no phones. Writing can actually be therapeutic. Remember you aren’t writing to be published or have something to refer back to when you write your personal memoirs so you don’t have to be Shakespeare. Honestly, it does not matter if you write 10 pages or 10 words as long as your write something. Just three things each day that are good thoughts and if you don’t want to have to find a pen and paper then just use your notes page on your phone.
I admit, I tend to do this for a while and then forget so if it isn’t for you then don’t worry. Perhaps do every week, every two weeks or even just now and then so you can look back on it if you are having a rough time.
If you can’t think of anything good then maybe you need to define what actually is good. Maybe you didn’t answer every single email but you met a friend for coffee who you haven’t seen in ages and you had a good time. Or maybe you didn’t go out with your friends but stayed in and watched a movie that you loved. Sometimes struggling to write down something good is a sign that you define something good as something perfect and perfection is impossible.
2. Plan for the Future
There will be times when you are stressed to the max and that cannot be avoid. Unfortunately that is life. It is super easy during those moments to let negative thoughts rush into your mind and hold your brain hostage. Yet there are ways to cope with those times and one I really found helps me is to plan for the Future. People really underestimate the effect that having something to look forward to has.
What you plan as well is entirely up to you! Not everyone recharges the same way as each other and something your friend might look forward to might be something you absolutely dread. So sit down and have a good think about what you enjoy and how can you plan that so it can be the light of the tunnel during a stressful period. I wish I could do this every time I feel stressed but I never regretted booking a holiday to Cuba straight after my second year exams at University. It took a lot of saving but having my first inclusive holiday days after I was cramming my brain about English Medieval Kings was a much needed relaxation experience.
3. Have a Chat … in front of the Mirror
You might think I am crazy with this last one but hey it works for me. Sometimes I need a pick me up and I have got time to run a bath and have a face mask. Normally when I do this I have to be out the door five minutes ago and I am a frantic mess catapulting to a disastrous day ahead. But then I have a good day because I turn to the mirror and I just say ‘Katie, you got this’. You could have a ten minute chat to yourself if that works for you but just by saying something aloud I feel ten times more confident in my own ability to handle the day ahead.
We are all really good at looking in the mirror and saying bad things. Ah my hair is a mess, I look like rubbish, I can’t leave the house like this. If you can look into a mirror and say something critical of yourself then why can’t you look in the mirror and say something kind to yourself. It isn’t a super fancy self care hack but it is easy and it works for me. Maybe give it a try when you wake up dreading the day ahead.
Go and Give It a Try
Well, that is it, I have said my bit and now it is time for you to give it a try. To be honest, it might not work straight away or at all. There is not one answer to solve everyone’s problems and there are some problems even the most self care conscious people have to face. Yet the point of self love and taking care of yourself is to make things a little bit easier so I’d love to hear if any of this stuff works for you? Do you do anything different and if so spill the beans I’d love to hear?
I hope you have a great week and remember,
Hey it gets better.